Comedy Jokes
Shop Joke
In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"
Doctor Joke
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. - Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
Patient Joke
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?” Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”
Eye Joke
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
Silly Joke
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. - Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
Bar Joke
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” That’s about as far as I remember.
Exercise Joke
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
Woman Joke
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
Driving Joke
A police officer stops a car. Officer: “Your driver’s license please.” Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.” Officer: “At home?” Driver: “No, to do it.”
Women Joke
Why is women’s soccer so rare? - It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
Russian Joke
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
Restaurant Joke
Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “ Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
Girlfriend Joke
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
Sick Joke
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can’t stop thinking about that tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.
Girl Joke
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.” “Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.” “And smart, too!”
Politician Joke
Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? - A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
Parrot Joke
I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the rascal tried to sell me.
Space Joke
Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space? - To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" - "What is the problem?" - "Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"
Husband Wife Joke
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
Man Joke
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Witty Joke
What goes up and down but never moves? - The stairs!
This is a post on some of the most wonderful comedy jokes on the internet.
In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?"
Doctor Joke
Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. - Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too.
Patient Joke
Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?” Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!”
Eye Joke
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
Silly Joke
Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. - Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.
Bar Joke
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!” So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?” That’s about as far as I remember.
Exercise Joke
I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
Woman Joke
A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.
Driving Joke
A police officer stops a car. Officer: “Your driver’s license please.” Driver: “I’m really sorry, I forgot.” Officer: “At home?” Driver: “No, to do it.”
Women Joke
Why is women’s soccer so rare? - It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
Russian Joke
I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
Restaurant Joke
Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the manager! “ Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
Girlfriend Joke
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!
Sick Joke
I heard a report about a bad outbreak of the tummy bug, apparently 9 out of 10 people there suffered from diarrhea. I can’t stop thinking about that tenth person who apparently enjoyed it.
Girl Joke
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.” “Oh come on. You just want to get me to bed.” “And smart, too!”
Politician Joke
Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common? - A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
Parrot Joke
I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the rascal tried to sell me.
Space Joke
Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space? - To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" - "What is the problem?" - "Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"
Husband Wife Joke
A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. The woman drops a bit of tomato sauce on her white top. "Och, I look like a pig!" The man nods, "And you dropped tomato sauce on your top!"
Man Joke
A woman in a bikini reveals about 90% of her body.... and yet most men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Witty Joke
What goes up and down but never moves? - The stairs!
This is a post on some of the most wonderful comedy jokes on the internet.
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