Really Funny Jokes

Wife Joke
“Why do you look so sad?”
“I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water.”

Guy Joke
I heard that it is easier to find a girlfriend when you have things in common.
So girls, I like to breath.

Uniform Joke
I heard women love a man in uniform.
Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds.

Woman Joke
You really are the most jealous woman I know.
Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?!

Car Joke
My car horn now sounds like gunshots.
People move out of the way much faster recently.

Fridge Joke
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

Politician Joke
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

Grandpa Joke
“Mom, can I play with grandpa?”
“No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.”

Dirty Joke
What is agony?
You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff.
Suddenly your butt starts to itch.

Postman Joke
Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have!

Cleaning Joke
It’s cleaning day today.
I’ve already polished off a whole chocolate bar.

Mexican Joke
Why won’t Mexicans be sad too long about Trump’s wall?
They will get over it.

Rude Joke
You look so bad your mum got a penalty for littering when she dropped you off at school today.

Hell Joke
In hell, you get a room wallpapered from top to bottom with your hastily deleted selfies.

Dirty Joke
I hate it when I run out of toilet paper and I have to make the trip to the grocery store in really small steps.

Silly Joke
I have clean conscience.
I haven’t used it once till now.

Old Joke
The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good, nor old.

Dentist Joke
Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally someone who understands me"


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