Sexist Joke I was looking for that thing that peels potatoes, apples and carrots. I’ve asked my kids if they had any idea. Apparently she left 2 days ago. Women Joke 1. You should have a woman who works at home, who cooks, keeps things tidy and has a job. 2. You should have a woman who can make you smile and laugh. 3. You should have a woman you can trust, a woman who never lies to you. 4. You should have a woman who is good in bed and enjoys spending time with you. 5. And you should always, always keep these four women from ever meeting each other. Winter Joke Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.” Husband Joke My new wife left me because of my huge insecurity problems....
Fat Joke A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!” Dirty Joke Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time! Train Joke Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket. Girls Joke Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something. New Joke You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct. Funny Joke Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact. Waiter Joke “Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m...
Son Joke I stole a couple of minutes from work to give my wife a call. She put my two-year-old son on, and we chatted a while before he ended it with an enthusiastic "I love you!" "I love you too," I said, with a dopey grin plastered on my face. I was about to hang up when I heard him ask sweetly, "Mommy, who was that?" Children Joke At our supermarket, I noticed a woman with four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, "Mommy! Mommy!" while she tried to shop. Finally, she blurted out, "I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!" The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, "Excuse me, miss." Quiz Joke Once I’d finished reviewing my daughter’s homework, I gave her an impromptu quiz. “What is a group of whales called?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint—it sounds like something you use to listen to music.” “An iPod?” she guessed....
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