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Sexy Jokes

Sexist Joke I was looking for that thing that peels potatoes, apples and carrots. I’ve asked my kids if they had any idea. Apparently she left 2 days ago. Women Joke 1. You should have a woman who works at home, who cooks, keeps things tidy and has a job. 2. You should have a woman who can make you smile and laugh. 3. You should have a woman you can trust, a woman who never lies to you. 4. You should have a woman who is good in bed and enjoys spending time with you. 5. And you should always, always keep these four women from ever meeting each other. Winter Joke Wife sends a text message to her husband on a really cold winter morning: Windows are totally frozen, will not open. Husband replies: “Carefully pour some warm water over it and tap the edges first with your hand, if that doesn’t work, then gently with a hammer.” 15 minutes later, the wife texts back: “Oh no, I think the laptop is now totally gone.” Husband Joke My new wife left me because of my huge insecurity problems....
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Make Me Laugh

Fat Joke A fat guy and a thin guy meet: Fat guy: “When I see you, I’d think a famine broke out!” Thin guy: “And when I see you, I’d think you’re the one responsible for that!” Dirty Joke Most of the time, when you cry, nobody notices the tears you shed. Most of the time, when you're facing trouble, nobody feels your pain. But try farting in public just one time! Train Joke Today I ran from a ticket inspector. He chased me through half the train. When he finally caught me, he wasn’t very amused to find that I actually do have the ticket. Girls Joke Girls mostly treat me like a God. They totally forget that I exist and only approach me when they need something. New Joke You’re really sucked up. - I ate you. - You’re a stupid grass mole. Having an argument in the times of auto correct. Funny Joke Stalking: When two people enjoy long romantic walks together, but just one of them is aware of this fact. Waiter Joke “Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?” “I’m...
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Comedy Jokes

Shop Joke In a boomerang shop: "I'd like to buy a new boomerang please. Also, can you tell me how to throw the old one away?" Doctor Joke Patient: Oh doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation. - Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too. Patient Joke Mr. Smith: “Doctor, you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?” Doctor: “Yes, what’s the matter?” Mr. Smith: “I would like to use it but I can’t open the bottle!” Eye Joke Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem? Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell? Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door. Silly Joke Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. - Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking. Bar Joke I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?” One of...
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